![]() ![]() Remember that discipline is not to punish, but it’s to correct, to improve, to prevent, to help, so we must maintain our self-control at all times if we are going to function anywhere near our own particular level of competence, whatever that might be. You cannot antagonize and be a positive influence, and you will antagonize when you discipline through emotion. “If we lose reason in our discipline of our children, it will not be effective. “Even if it is disciplining your children, and our children cry out for and need discipline, it must be done with reason to be effective,” Coach Wooden insisted. This is not only true on the basketball court or in the workplace, but in the home as well. If emotion takes over, reason usually flies out the window and the acts or decisions are not likely to be as productive as they should be.” He later elaborated on the importance of the trait by pointing out its role in making all other aspects of leadership more effective: “Self-control, regardless of what we are doing, whether it involves a physical act or a mental decision, must be maintained to produce desirable results. Good judgment and common sense are essential.” Profits could be on the line.The second tier of Coach Wooden’s Pyramid of Success has four blocks: Self-Control, Alertness, Initiative and Intentness.Ĭoach Wooden chose to direct his definition of self-control at the individual by urging him or her to “Practice self-discipline and keep emotions under control. But they also said that after that encounter, they felt demoralized and they didn't want to have anything more to do with that boss.Įmotional Self-Control doesn’t just matter for keeping the leader calm and less stressed, it impacts the emotions of everyone they interact with, and the productivity of the organization. They remember it much better than the positive encounters. Does it matter if a boss blows up at an employee? You bet it does! Additional research shows that employees remember most vividly negative encounters they've had with a boss. If the leader is in a really negative mood-abrasive, whatever it may be-the team members get into a negative mood and their performance plummets.Īustralian researchers found that leaders who manage emotions well had better business outcomes. Research done at the Yale School of Management shows that if the group leader is in an upbeat mood, people in the group catch that mood and the team does better, whatever it's doing. Other research indicates that emotions spread from the leader of a group outward to the members of the group. Being “hijacked” by your emotions sabotages your ability to make good decisions or to react skillfully. What that marketing executive lacked was Emotional Self-Control.Ĭognitive science tells us that the more upset you are, the less well you can focus on what's important, take it in deeply, or respond nimbly. His direct reports complained behind his back, saying he was a terrible boss. If anyone disagreed with him, he’d fly into a yelling rage. He'd pounce on anyone who wasn't up to his standards. With Emotional Self-Control, you manage your disruptive impulses and destabilizing emotions, staying clear-headed and calm.Ĭonsider this example: The head of marketing at a global food company always tried to find better ways to do things, but had no regard for the people he depended on for that very success. We want to control our disturbing emotions, not the positive ones (which make life rich, and come into play with the Positive Outlook and Achievement Orientation Competencies). This doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions. Įmotional Self-Control is the ability to keep your disruptive emotions and impulses in check, to maintain your effectiveness under stressful or even hostile conditions. It is excerpted from Emotional Self-Awareness: A Primer. In this series, best-selling author and Korn Ferry columnist Dan Goleman reveals the 12 key skills behind EI. Emotional Intelligence remains a key ingredient in the development of corporate leaders. ![]()
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